"Lucky" Me

I’ve never been a proponent of luck. I will quite often go out of my way, when others might chime in with the expected “good luck” I often surprise people with a quite contrary statement, “I won’t insult you by wishing you luck”. Luck is a myth.

And as scientifically and rationally debunked as luck has been, it is still touted as the rational person’s response to their own relative standings. Bad luck is the scapegoat for...  lack of control in one’s own direction and ability, disavowing others success to rationalize your inadequacies, and relinquishing ownership of our failures because things are simply not your fault.

Scientific reasoning, as seen in Newton’s third law, clearly shows causality explains results; every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Hit a drum, make a noise. Hear a noise, twitch a muscle. Twitch a muscle, spill your coffee...on your lap. This is not bad luck, you're just not properly evaluating all of the variables in your environment that concluded in that moment's causality. Good luck has its own confused superstitious, coincidental logics. Four leaf clovers, lucky rabbits feet, blowing on dice, playing your birthday lotto numbers are all just as likely to influence events as me declaring my coffee mug keeps away tigers (it does, I’ve never encountered one while drinking my coffee).

Whatever the common consensus, I happen not to believe in luck. In fact, quite the opposite; I believe in working hard, being prepared and bettering your own odds. Or as some would say, making one’s own luck. To quote the great 21st century philosopher Jon Bon Jovi, "luck ain't lucky, gotta make your own breaks."

Coincidentally, studies show luck (more specifically good luck), relates directly with how people perceive and accept chance opportunities. Richard Wiseman, author of The Luck Factor concurs, “Lucky people generate their own good fortune via four basic principles. They are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities, make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition, create self-fulfilling prophecies via positive expectations, and adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good.”

So when the philosopher Seneca states that “luck is where opportunity meets preparation”, I can completely agree.

Additional research shows that lucky people are more relaxed, and as such are open to situations (opportunities) that they are prepared for. Unlucky people tend to be more reluctant, fearful and anxious. Attributes that directly coincide with someone’s being ready for “luck” to happen (cause) and how we feel with perceived outcomes (effect)..

But there are times in my life when I find myself just violating the odds and falling bass ackward into something amazing.

As luck would have it, I had an opportunity to do just that.

One of the most memorable experiences I have had as a Chef is owning my own restaurant. It happened to be one of the most grueling and enjoyable experiences. As you could imagine, it did not leave much room for vacations and getting away. After a few years of glorious toiling, it became apparent to me that I needed to get away. Years earlier I had taken my wife to Italy on our honeymoon; easily one of the most beautiful trips I had ever undertaken (and yeah, it was also a honeymoon). And when I thought of places appropriate to relax and recharge my batteries my mind naturally settled in on that glorious place filled with the most pleasant memories. This time though I wanted it to be a bit different.

You see in my life in the restaurant and catering business I spent oodles of time serving others. I love it, it really fulfills me. So on this trip I decided to treat myself; a trip where I worried nor wanted for nothing. I wanted me and my wife to be completely catered to.

As “luck” would have it, all these ideas came to a bubbling head when I met a young lady from the island of Sicily one day in my restaurant. She went on about the unrealized beauties of her homeland and I realized this was a part of Italy I had never seen, a great opportunity if ever one had presented itself. Intuitively I knew that this young lady obviously knew more than me about my new infatuation. I asked her for help, and if she knew of anyone who could accommodate a request like mine. As luck would have it, she did, and from there I created an amazing relationship with my friend Angelo. Over the course of a few months we created a program whereby our car and driver would take us to our agriturismo (vineyard/B&B) where we would stay. We would shop the markets for fresh produce, seafood, meats, cheeses and prepare our meals together and enjoy them with local wine. Whenever we wished, we would dine out and experience true local fare, see the historical sites, walk the beaches, hike the volcano, hear the history and mythology that sprung forth from Sicily’s passionate people . Best part, neither my wife nor myself were allowed to touch our wallets, as it was to be all paid and ready for us when we arrived.  Paradise. My expectations could not be higher, and Angelo was eager to acquiesce. It was to be a spectacular second honeymoon.

Yet, it wasn’t meant to be (at least as I had originally envisioned it). You see, sitting in my restaurant, which had an open kitchen, allowed my guests to see all the preparations that I was making, and that included my second honeymoon. One such guest sat, as he did most days, listening to the sounds of his meal being prepared and the bustle. On that day, he got a little more than he bargained for. As Tom sat enjoying his food, he overheard my plan.

“What’s that?” he asked as I hung up the phone with Angelo.

“The call?” he nodded, “Oh, I’m planning a trip to Sicily with Suzanne.” (my wife, you should know that by now). “My friend Angelo is taking care of all the details.”

“I heard…” his look changed from interest to , well interest.

He had overheard about the vineyards, the shopping, the cooking, the dining, and all that the ancient island culture and geography had to offer, and much like me, fell in love with the notion.

“I wanna come.”

And with that simple statement a chain reaction began that turned my wife’s second honeymoon into, shall we say…”better luck next time.”

We didn’t enjoy our second honeymoon as we expected that year, but we did manage to transform that bit of “bad luck” into a great thing. It turned out that we did go back. With this now fixed as a part of our restaurant's business model, we went back a few times actually, subsequent times bringing others with us to share the island experience we ourselves had “lucked” into.

Now, many might call all that lucky. And if I believed in luck I would certainly agree. But I don’t so I won’t. What it was was fortuitous; I was prepared to receive the opportunity, I had accounted for all the variables that concluded with a desired result, and when it didn’t work out quite the way I envisioned I adapted. “Luck”? No, it was the exact reaction equal and opposite to all the actions that lead up to it.

So, when I refuse to wish you luck, be flattered that I don’t think you incapable enough to not cause your own desired reactions, that you are oblivious enough not to notice all the amazing opportunities before you, that you lack positivity, and that you are resilient enough to overcome poor situations.* And, you should believe enough in your abilities to focus the odds to arrive at your desired results, believe you have control over your circumstances, believe that others' successes are not taunts but rather models for celebration. So, instead of relying on luck, rely on yourself and imagine, oh the places you'll go.

*I, Suzanne (editor) would like to deny any participation in the construction of this sentence. As much as I love my husband, there are some sentences that emerge from his brain that even I can't untangle.