Easy is its own punishment

No one said it’d be easy. As a matter of fact, as I journey from day to day, I am constantly being reminded of the contrary, life is hard. Our delusion that somehow things should come easily is perhaps mankind's most common anti-evolutionary battle cry. The rest of the natural world fights it out for survival, what makes us different? Why do so many people think they will be successful at whatever they endeavor, and with minimal amounts of effort at that?  Our need to succeed is innate, yet we are also inherently lazy; we try to optimize our successes with minimal amounts of effort. We insist on doing this disservice to ourselves and our herd by negating the beauty of working hard for something. I blame our newfound obsession with immediate gratification; we’ve been conditioned to not wait for our satisfactions. Amazing technology that makes our known world more convenient (cell phones, fast food, fingertip connectivity) leaves us not wanting for access to all we demand. Inundated by the instant, our ‘don't make me wait for it’ generation, has bought into the marketing of all the available things QUICK our magnificent world has to offer. However, we need to take this sparked curiosity one step further and look at ourselves, research our abilities, and set out  to accomplish that which we desire in a responsible manner. We need to be aware of our aptitude and apply it properly to what we set out to do. And once again there is no better mirror for this reality than the kitchen.

It was a typical day and one of my cooks was attempting his fourth shot at making mashed potatoes (that's  right, you heard me, mashed potatoes...and yes, four times). After so many tries this person's clock was counting down to service when this component was desperately needed. Needless to say, he was feeling the pressure. As simple as the procedure is, if pieces of it are neglected or omitted the result is tragic, something this young individual failed to learn on the first three tries. You see a potato, in its simplistic beauty, contains starch. When the starch is properly cooked and dried and folded with the correct amount of fat, it produces a smooth, unctuous, creamy salve that elicits many a childhood memory and acts as a structural base for plating... and is a darn fine bit of food.

Attempt #1: when too much water was left in, the potatoes yielded a soupy mess. Garbage.

Attempt #2: potatoes cut too small in an attempt to have them cook quicker. Unfortunately the potatoes disintegrated during cooking. Garbage.

Attempt #3: running out of time and undercooking the potatoes and trying to mash them anyway. What a treat that was. Garbage.

Again and again, he tried to shortcut, take an easier path than the direction he was given. In his laziness he actually created more work for himself.

So, last but not least, attempt #4: a last ditch effort to redeem every precious moment lost; potatoes cooked in the cream they were to be mashed with. A sound concept if everything is measured correctly, yet a drastic mistake when not and compounded further by the use of a high speed stick blender to finish the job. At 10,000 rps it’s a short trip from soupy to glue. The blades quickly broke  the light fluffy swollen cells, released their starchy interiors and formed glue. I could tell from a distance we were in trouble as the powerful motor of the blender began its muffled groaning descent into the coalescing mass.

“Chef, can you come check my potatoes?”, I heard from across the kitchen. Aside from being devoid of any seasoning, the texture was at best, terrible.

“What made you decide upon the stick blender?” I asked painfully calm.

“Well, I was watching Food Ne….”, I cut him off.

“So! Instead of the directions I gave you...In the middle of the state of chaos you have wallowed into….on your FOURTH attempt at something soooo simple…” (Dramatic pause)

“You put your trust in a television program…..and not your Chef.”

“Just because you see it on TV doesn’t mean you should do it.” I ripped. “I mean I (gerund explicative) watch Animal planet; but you don’t see me trying to wrestle an alligator do you?”

And...Garbage. (and by garbage I actually mean the compost bin.)

What’s the quickest, easiest way to do something? The right way. Chances are if you are cutting corners, taking shortcuts or neglecting directions and procedure you are on your way to finding yourself in a time wasting situation of having to correct or redo something. Which, ironically enough, expends more energy. Things take time. Either in the planning and preparing or in the pain and punishment. Nothing good comes easily. We are suckers for the notion though. We do love the idea of a get rich quick, take a pill to fix, hit the button for solution (in this case a high powered emersion blender), promises; but they are empty. You want to make sure you get it done right, do it the right way. Many have gone before you to provide you with the right path, take it. If you want to accomplish your desired aim or purpose do it in the prescribed way. Once you get those tried and true procedures under your belt than you can color outside the lines. Until that time though, leave the gator wrestling to the professionals.